Decision-Making: A Step-by-Step Guide

By Anne Decore, lmft

Making decisions is something people struggle with often. Indecision and inaction can bring a lot of distress. So can the belief that one “made the wrong decision”.

Some decisions are clear and intuitive, and we can arrive at a choice with full confidence. Other decisions carry ambivalence – and always will even after we’ve picked a direction.

One general rule of thumb is to be guided by your values and goals. They can serve as guiding lights during times of uncertainty.

This 4-step framework may also help you operationalize decision-making:

1. Identify the problem.

It’s especially important to define the question/decision/choice/problem if you are making the decision as a couple, or a family, or a group.

Ask clarifying questions such as:

• What is the main challenge or opportunity here?

• What is my hoped-for outcome?

• If this decision is made successfully, what would that look like?

2. Generate Alternatives.

Come up with a diverse and comprehensive set of options. Don’t judge them as you generate. Allow yourself to flow and present all angles.

3. Assess these options.

How do their various outcomes compare to the defined criteria for success? How do these options square with constraints?

4. Best Fit.

Find the best fit for the situation. “Best fit” acknowledges that, very often, decision making is subjective and there may not be a “perfect” or “right” decision.

Lastly, and always, be kind to yourself. Decision-making isn’t easy. You’re doing your best.

Adapt to Accomplish

By, Kayla Harris, MA, AMFT

I don't know about you, but when I hear "productivity" or "efficiency," I immediately picture working myself like a robot to get things done. Lately, I've been chasing "accomplishment" instead. Accomplished is a feeling we get when we overcome things that are challenging for us. It's also the feeling I get when I've spent my time wisely and dedicated the necessary energies to a task. Sometimes, I feel accomplished when I say "no" to things people ask of me.

The COVID-19 pandemic has changed work for a lot of folks. Outside of jobs, people are also grappling with immense feelings of uncertainty, loss, and even hopelessness. We are coping in the best ways we can. Some people are trying to regain some semblance of normalcy by using as much time as possible to be "productive." What is that by your standards? How does that differ from society's expectations? Or your friends/colleagues? Please remember this is an unprecedented time! You are figuring it out like everyone else. I'm here to arm you with some new strategies to ultimately help you feel more accomplished and empowered rather than shamed and overwhelmed.

Note: Some people are magical and do not need to write/type things out to remember to do them. I am not one of those people, so most of my strategies below involve jotting things down! No matter how you work, take whatever suits you, and try it on!

To-Do Lists

• Start with a brain dump of all the things you worry about getting done. Put it to paper, write it in a note on your phone, in an email to yourself, whatever!

• Try sorting them by the due date or by the level of importance to you.

• You may even want to categorize or color code them by source and sort them that way. For example, things your job asks of you would be in one color. Then tasks you'd like to do around your home would be another color. Items your family needs from you would be in a different color, and so on. Sometimes, examining who is asking what of us can help to see where we are overexerting ourselves and where we need to establish firmer boundaries or delegate!

*TIP: Categorizing and switching up different tasks may help to break up the monotony of your workday. Suppose you are working from home, chipping away at an intense project, and struggling to stay focused. In that case, you could tackle a small task from your household category before going back to work. Or if you're physically at work, instead of drudging through a project for hours, check and respond to emails, or use a different part of your brain for a little bit.

Time vs. Energy Grid

I recently learned this from a therapist on TikTok (@the.truth.doctor), and it has been a game-changer!

1. Draw a Tic-Tac-Toe grid on a sheet of paper, sticky note, or in your planner.

2. Next, write LOW, MED, and HIGH above the top 3 boxes. This represents how much of your energy you need to complete a task.

3. Turn the paper and write 3 segments of time along the side axis. These are rough estimates of how long it might take you to finish things. I use "less than or equal to 30 min.," "about an hour," and "greater than or equal to two hours" on mine. See below.

4. Take whatever list of to-dos you have and plug tasks into the grid based on how much energy and time each task will take. As you go through your day, think about how much of each you have to devote to something and then work on something that is within those parameters. The crucial part of this is to be honest with yourself about how much energy/time you have and take breaks or switch gears when struggling to stay on-task.

*TIP: Highlight with category-specific colors when you finish tasks for an extra accomplished feeling and to see where you spent your time!

Pomodoro Timing

• The basic premise is that you set aside time to dig into work while also honoring breaks. So as you go through your tasks, you may feel the pull to get distracted, but with this technique, you can simply jot down that distraction and know that you'll come back to it when you get your break.

• Pick a task you'd like to work on. Then set a timer for 25 minutes of uninterrupted work time. Work the entire time and when the timer goes off, take a quick break, maybe 5 minutes. Then set the timer again for another 25 minutes and dive back into your project. Once you've completed 4 rounds of this, reward yourself with a nice long break (20-30 minutes)!

• You'll be amazed at how much you can get done when you allow yourself the time to dig into work and take breaks periodically. Here's a website that outlines all the potential benefits of the technique and how to customize it for you: https://francescocirillo.com/pages/pomodoro-technique

*TIP: During breaks, get some steps in, drink water, snack, do whatever makes you feel energized to keep going for the day!

Mindset Shift

Sometimes it can feel like we are our own worst enemy when it comes to getting things done. Work feels better when we are on our own side.

• Try and shift even just the way you talk about your duties (whether you get them done or not!) using "will" instead of "should." There is a massive difference between "I should have gotten X done yesterday" and "I didn't get to X yesterday, so I will get it done today!"

• Fake it 'til you make it - Act as if you are the master of your schedule! Of course, you probably have bosses and obligations that dictate what you have to do for the day, but take control of your schedule where you can and make it work for YOU.

• Schedule unmovable things in your planner/calendar in sharpie (kid pick-ups, family events, medical appointments, etc.)

• Write specific tasks in pencil/erasable pen - give yourself some room to adjust! You are the one who has to get these things done after all!

• Set up your weekdays to be "themed" tasks- "I don't have to make the house spotless today. Friday is my cleaning day." "I'm too tired on Sundays. I'd rather meal prep on Tuesdays." The big thing here is to actually follow through on the tasks you set aside for a specific day. And keep in mind you can always adjust that! Do laundry on Wednesdays if that's what works for you.

• Say no, delegate, and ask for help when you need it!

I hope you found tidbits you can use in your day-to-day life. Remember, strive for the feeling of accomplishment, not some grinding level of productivity.