Prioritizing Your Mental Health During the Holidays

By Nicole marino, amft

As we enter the winter months and into the holiday season, it is so important to make sure you are checking in with yourself around your mental well-being. The holiday season can evoke a wide range of emotions for people. While some look forward to celebrations, gatherings, and festive traditions, others may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even lonely. It’s important to recognize that mental health is just as crucial during this time as it is any other, potentially even more so. Here are some strategies to help manage your mental health during the holidays.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s so important to acknowledge and sit in the emotions that come up for you during the holidays, even the more “negative” emotions. It's normal to experience a mix of joy and stress. Journaling, talking to someone you trust, or meditating can be helpful ways to process emotions and identify what’s weighing on your mind.

Set Realistic Expectations

Holidays often come with high expectations, whether it’s creating the perfect get-together, finding the ideal gifts, or maintaining traditions. Try to set realistic goals and be flexible with yourself and your situations. Remember that it’s okay for things to not be perfect (they’re not meant to be!). Simplifying your plans can lead to a more enjoyable and less stressful experience.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is essential, especially during busy times. Carve out moments for yourself, whether that means enjoying a good book, going for a walk, or participating in your favorite hobby. Make a conscious effort to engage in activities that recharge your energy and bring you joy.

Reach Out for Support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Talk to friends or family (anyone you trust) about how you’re feeling or consider seeking professional help if needed. Sometimes, simply sharing your thoughts can lighten the pressure and emotional burden. Remember, you’re not alone in this experience and others can relate!

Create New Traditions

If certain traditions are a source of stress or sadness, consider creating new ones. This can be an opportunity to adapt your celebrations to better fit your current feelings and circumstances. Finding what works for you can foster a sense of new beginnings.

Limit Social Media Exposure

Social media can amplify comparison. It’s easy to get caught up in the seemingly perfect lives of others. If you find yourself feeling down after scrolling, consider taking a break from social media during the holidays. Focus instead on real-life interactions and experiences. Focus on the things going on in your life that you are grateful for.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a strong tool during the holidays. Taking a few moments each day to practice deep breathing, meditation, or grounding techniques can help reduce stress and increase your overall well-being. Being present in the moment allows you to appreciate the little joys that the season brings.

Give Back

Engaging in acts of kindness or giving back to the community can provide a sense of purpose and connection. Volunteering your time or resources can remind you of the positive impact you can have on others!

While this season of time can bring a lot of joy and happiness, it can also take a toll on your mental health. By using these tips and reminders, you can better navigate the season ahead and know what is going to be best for you and your emotions. Ultimately, your mental health is the priority so the holidays can look however you want them to!

Family Boundaries During the Holidays

BY JESSY WESTON, AMFT

While the holidays can be a season filled with joy and celebration, it can also bring challenging feelings, situations, and conversations. The holidays are an important time to make sure we are setting healthy boundaries for ourselves and our families.

First, what are healthy boundaries? Brene Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, defines boundaries as simply “what’s ok and what’s not ok.” A boundary allows you to define what is acceptable to you within any relationship or situation. Its purpose is to protect both you and others involved. It’s also important to know that setting boundaries is not always easy. In fact, it takes significant intention and effort. It means changing or challenging something that has historically existed.

How to set boundaries:

1) Identify your limits

To start, you can ask yourself the question, “what’s ok with me and what’s not ok with me?” This question can be asked within several different realms including, emotional, physical, financial, mental, spiritual, etc. An example of an emotional boundary may be reminding yourself that your feelings are your own and that you are not responsible for others feelings. A physical boundary could be deciding where you want to spend the holidays, even if that is different from what has been done in the past. A mental boundary could be altering the story you tell yourself about what the holidays “should” look like. These are just a few examples as it can truly take any form that you may need.

2) Share expectations with friends and family members

“We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.” (Dr. Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No)

This statement seems so simple, yet it’s normal for it to be difficult to put into practice. It is normal to assume that those who know us should automatically understand our boundaries. However, that is often not the case and it can be challenging to express our honest thoughts and feelings with those around us. We can practice sharing our expectations (both what we want and what we do not want) in a respectful way by being calm and direct. The key is to use “I” statements. For example:

• “I appreciate the invite to spend the holidays at your place this year. I need some time though to not travel this year and to spend a quieter holiday at home. I’d love to find a different way to spend time together.”

• “I always feel overwhelmed when planning the dinner for our large family gathering. Can you please help me plan it this year?”

• “I’m not comfortable talking about my dating life right now. I would really appreciate it if you did not ask about it again.”

• “I feel a bit annoyed and embarrassed when you make jokes like that. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making those kinds of jokes.”

3) Be compassionate towards yourself

It can be mentally and emotionally exhausting to maintain necessary boundaries. While people or situations may not always respect the boundaries you set, you did the best you could by advocating for yourself. It is important through it all to offer yourself kindness and compassion.

Gift Ideas to Promote Mental and Emotional Wellness All Year Round

By Rachel D. Miller, AMFT

Gift giving is part of many family holiday traditions. Trying to find the perfect gift can add pressure to an already stressful season. If you’re searching for some last-minute gift ideas, consider contributing to the mental and emotional well-being of your loved ones with one of these suggestions.

Tiny Humans

Slumberkins

These adorable stuffed creature and book sets were designed by two mothers with backgrounds in family therapy and early education to support a full range of early emotional wellbeing. Their goal according to their website is to “help families raise resilient, caring, and confident children.” The one pictured here is the Authenticity Unicorn. They also have a Mindfulness Yeti, Gratitude Honeybear, and Conflict Resolution Hammerhead. These are great for the littles on your list and might even be loved by some of the bigger kids.

Elementary Schoolers

Mad Dragon

A card game geared for ages 6-12. Fans of Uno will already understand the basic concept. Kids learn through this interactive game about the many choices they have around how to express and process anger. This is a favorite with my younger clients. It has even made its way to family functions where the kids have a great time getting the grown-ups to talk about what my nephew has dubbed “hard feelings.” Mad Dragon is perfect for those needing a gift under $25.

What you Do Matters Books

This box set includes the titles, What Do You Do With an Idea?, What Do You Do With a Problem?, and What Do You Do With a Chance?.

What Do You Do With an Idea? is a story for anyone, at any age, who’s ever had an idea that seemed too big, too odd, too difficult. It’s a story to inspire you to welcome that idea, to give it space to grow, and to see what happens next.

What Do You Do With a Problem? is the story of a persistent problem and the child who isn’t so sure what to make of it. The longer he avoids the problem, the bigger it seems to get.

What Do You Do With a Chance? inspires kids of all ages and parents alike to find the courage to go for the opportunities that come their way.

Tweens and Teens

Big Life Journal

For the tween/teen in your life who is looking to discover the power of their brain and mindset and needing understand they oversee their own happiness, this might be the right gift. This journal will help turn their self-talk from negative into positive and empowering. It will guide them through setting goals and learning to overcome challenges and setbacks. The Big Life Journal uses science to help teens “develop a resilient, growth mindset so they can grow into confident, happy adults.” The company also has a version for the elementary school set.

Mental Health App Subscriptions

Rates of anxiety and depression are rapidly increasing among tweens and teens. And while there are mixed reports amongst the scientific community about the cause of this rise, there is a way to utilize the phones that are practically an extra appendage for most teens to empower them to manage their mental health. Apps are available to assist in tracking moods, improve emotion recognition, and teach skills such as meditation and mindfulness. Many of these apps are free but have certain paid subscription or in app purchase options. A few worth checking out are: Sanvello, 10% Happier, and Moodpath.

For All Ages

Weighted Blanket

For your loved ones who have trouble sleeping, or struggle with anxiety or PTSD, this gift can feel like a life saver. It helps relax your body by simulating the feeling of being held or hugged. Let’s be honest, we could probably all use one of these in our lives.

Light Therapy Lamp

Winter can be challenging. Light therapy has been shown to elevate mood, improve sleep quality and concentration levels, increase the effectiveness of antidepressants, and decrease the intensity of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) symptoms.

Puzzles

Puzzles have been shown to improve short term memory and visual-spatial reasoning. They are a wonderful tool for practicing meditation and mindfulness. Some studies even suggest that regularly doing puzzles can reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s. Football fans might be interested to hear Rob Gronkowski talk on CBS Sunday Morning recently about how he uses puzzles to help him slow down, reduce his anxiety, and improve his focus. Utilize puzzles to facilitate some needed alone time or make them a connecting activity done with the whole family.

White Noise Machine

There is lots of buzz about the importance of sleep, specifically good quality sleep. It has been shown to elevate moo, increase mental focus, and improve heart health. A white noise machine can assist in helping to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.

Sunrise Simulation Alarm Clock

For the non-morning person in your life, or those who struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), this gentle, sunrise simulation wake-up might be the thing they need to start their morning on a better note. This brand’s clinical research claims it will “wake you up with improved mood and energy level.”

While far from exhaustive, hopefully this gives a place to start, or maybe finish, your holiday shopping list. Happy Holidays to you and yours!