A Family Therapist’s Perspective on Political Stress in Families

By Caroline neal, lmft

In recent years, political discussions have become more emotionally charged, sometimes creating tension between parents and children, siblings, and extended family members. What was once a casual conversation can now lead to strong emotions, misunderstandings, and even avoidance. Political stress within families is not just about differing opinions; it is deeply connected to identity, values, and personal experiences, which makes these conversations especially meaningful and sometimes difficult.

At the heart of political tension is the emotional investment people have in their beliefs. Political views often reflect values such as fairness, security, and freedom, shaped by personal experiences. When a family member expresses an opposing view, it can sometimes feel like a challenge to these values. This can be particularly sensitive when political beliefs are influenced by real-life struggles, such as economic hardship or social injustices. Instead of seeing disagreements as mere differences in opinion, family members may perceive them as questioning their lived experiences or personal convictions.

Generational differences also contribute to political stress in families. Older and younger family members often interpret political and social issues through different lenses, shaped by the times they grew up in. Parents or grandparents may see the world through historical events that shaped their perspectives, while younger generations bring their own evolving views influenced by modern social movements and digital media. This can lead to frustration on both sides—older family members may feel like their perspectives are being dismissed, while younger ones may feel misunderstood or unheard.

Media and social platforms also play a role in deepening political divisions. With the rise of social media and partisan news sources, people often find themselves in information bubbles that reinforce their beliefs, making opposing viewpoints seem not just different, but difficult to understand. As a result, political discussions can feel more like debates than opportunities for meaningful dialogue, making it harder for family members to connect on these topics.

Families respond to political stress in different ways. Some engage in open discussions, but these can sometimes escalate into ongoing tension. Others choose to avoid political topics altogether, which may create emotional distance over time. In some cases, families struggle to find a balance, leading to feelings of frustration or sadness when meaningful relationships feel strained by political differences.

Despite these challenges, families can find ways to navigate political stress with care and respect. One of the most helpful approaches is recognizing that political conversations are not just about facts and policies but also about emotions and values. Approaching discussions with empathy—rather than trying to convince or “win” an argument—can help ease tension and foster mutual understanding. Active listening, where family members focus on understanding each other’s perspectives rather than reacting immediately, can create a space for more thoughtful and respectful conversations.

Setting gentle boundaries can also be beneficial. Some families find it helpful to limit political discussions during gatherings meant for connection and joy. Others agree on respectful ways to engage in these conversations, ensuring that differing opinions do not overshadow the love and respect they have for one another.

Most importantly, families don’t have to agree on everything to maintain strong relationships. Love, shared history, and mutual care transcend political differences. Focusing on what unites rather than what divides can help preserve family bonds, even in times of disagreement. With patience, kindness, and a willingness to listen, even difficult conversations can lead to greater understanding and connection.

Put You Family Values on Your Fridge

By anne decore, lmft

Creating a family values statement is a thought-provoking and bonding exercise for families to engage in together. The process of forming a statement provides children an opportunity to feel valued and included in family decisions and gives them an opportunity to practice important skills like self-expression and perspective-taking.

Below are questions that are meant to spark deep reflections and discussions among family members. By exploring these brainstorming questions together, you can uncover and articulate the values that are most important to you.

  • What does our family believe in and stand for?

  • What are the core principles and virtues that are most important to our family?

  • What kind of family culture do we want to cultivate?

  • What values do we want to pass on to future generations?

  • What are our family's strengths and unique qualities?

  • What values will help us navigate challenges and difficult times together?

  • How do we want to treat one another as family members?

  • What values do we want to embody in our relationships with others outside the family?

  • How do we want to contribute to our community and the world at large?

Now you have a list of words and ideas. Next, define each value. Take each value identified and define it clearly. Discuss as a family what each value means to you and how it will be manifest in your daily lives. For example, if one of your values is "respect," discuss what respect looks like in your interactions with each other and others outside the family.

Then, craft the statement. Have fun with this. Let everyone contribute so that it reflects your collective vision and aspirations, your family spirit. Make it memorable and easy to understand for everyone in the family.

Display and revisit regularly. Once finalized, display the family values statement prominently in your home where everyone can see it (I like the fridge because it gets a lot of traffic!). This serves as a reminder and reinforces the importance of living by those values. Regularly revisit and discuss the statement as a family, revising as necessary if you feel you need to add or tweak your existing statement.

A family values statement provides a guiding framework that helps connect family members and shapes the identity of the family. It serves as a touchstone in decision-making and offers a common language for reinforcing positive behaviors and addressing conflicts within the family.